The Pineapple Incident
by Angel of Fire SG1
Summary: SG-12 bring back a strange object and Daniel must investigate. Meanwhile SG-5 bring back a Teal’c, Sam & Kawalsky from an Alternate Reality – how do the two things link? (SJ, DanielJanet DanielOther)
1. Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER: STARGATE SG-1 **doesn't belong to me, I didn't make it, I didn't make the characters, I didn't come up with the smart wormhole physics technobabble, hell I didn't even design the funky aliens…but I'm sure MGM & the Sci-fi Channel will let me borrow em for a couple of chapters to entertain u guys!

**NAME: The Pineapple Incident**

**SEASON: 7**

**SPOILERS: All seasons in general**

**PAIRINGS: Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet, Daniel/Other**

**SUMMARY: SG-12 bring back a strange object and Daniel must investigate. Meanwhile SG-5 bring back a Teal'c, Sam & Kawalsky from an Alternate Reality – how do the two things link? And who on Earth set it all up? **

**CHAPTER ONE**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

"UNAUTHORISED GATE ACTIVATION!" 

"Yeah, yeah," Colonel Jack O'Neill sighed, looking over at his second-in-command Major Samantha Carter who was fiddling with some…object. "We know…"

"We should probably get down there, sir," Sam ignored his sarcasm.

Jack didn't want this moment interrupted. He happened to like sitting around in Sam's office watching her doing complicated scientist things he didn't understand. He didn't want to go out and find that the Tok'ra or something had contacted them with bad news. He was quite happy were he was.

"Do we have to?" he whined.

Sam smiled. "Yes, sir."

Jack groaned and pulled himself up off his chair. Sam put away her trinkets and then walked out of her lab, Jack following. They reached the Control Room which overlooked the Stargate. SG-12 was plodding through the gate.

"Oh, so no excitement then," Jack said, turning around to leave.

"Look, they've got something," Dr Daniel Jackson exclaimed, coming up behind them. "I wonder what it is."

Jack rolled his eyes and turned to Sam…but she'd already followed Daniel. 

"Damnit," he mumbled, following them out of the control room.

Where was Teal'c when you needed him? Now he was all alone with two scientist. He reluctantly wandered into the gate room where Daniel was already all over the object SG-12 had just brought through the gate. 

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"We're not sure, ma'am," Captain Peters replied. "We thought we'd leave that up to Dr Jackson to decipher."

Daniel looked up and raised his eyebrows. "What sort of society did you get this from?"

"Uh…" Captain Peters looked at his second-in-command for help.

She smiled and stepped forward. "It was some kind ancient Mayan civilisation as far as I could tell."

"Lieutenant, would you be able to meet me in my office later so we can discuss it further?" Daniel asked, still staring at the item he held in his hands.

"Sure thing, Dr," she replied, then she turned to Hammond. "Permission to clean up before debriefing sir?"

Hammond nodded. "Granted."

Jack turned to Sam and grinned to himself. She looked at him suspiciously.

"What're you smiling at?" she asked as Daniel and Lieutenant Shaw walked out of the Gateroom, still discussing the artefact. 

"I wonder if Daniel has any idea how big a crush Lieutenant Shaw has had on him since the day she walked into this facility," Jack mused.

"She does?" Sam asked, looking after the two archaeologist. "You never told me that…"

Jack's grin spread. "Didn't I? I guess I figured you'd probably tell Frasier and we wouldn't want the good doctor getting jealous now would we?"

"What do you mean Janet would get jealous?" Sam defended her best friend. "Janet wouldn't care…"

"Ah, that's what you think Carter, I think you need to have a little talk to the Doc," Jack grinned, heading out of the Gateroom.

Sam was left standing alone, looking rather confused. Jack was halfway out of the room when he stopped and turned around.

"By the way Carter….well you know how Teal'c's away with SG-5 and how we're on downtime, was wondering if you wanted to leave your precious scientific work for a couple of days and accompany me fishing in Minnesota," Jack cringed, that sentence had dragged on far too much.

Sam smiled slightly to herself and looked at the floor. "You know I can't…"

"Why not?" Jack tried to play dumb.

"Colonel…you know…plus I can't now, not with the new artefact – Daniel might need my help to figure out what it's supposed to do," Sam said.

"I'm sure Daniel has all the help that he needs," Jack said.

"I'm sorry Colonel," Sam said, walking past him and out of the Gateroom.

_Damnit, Jack thought to himself. He didn't know why he kept asking, he knew the answer would be no, he knew she couldn't say yes. But he'd dreamed about it so many times…and maybe one day she'd say yes. _

Just then the Gate started dialling and the sirens went off again.

"UNAUTHORISED OFFWORLD ACTIVATION!" 

"That's getting so old," Jack muttered, walking out of the Gateroom just in case it was some kind of Goa'uld attack.

The wormhole established and Walter Davies informed them that it was SG-5's IDC.

"Open the iris," Hammond said.

Jack decided he'd ask Teal'c to come fishing with him. Although the chances of him accepting yet again were even lower than Sam excepting for the first time. The iris opened and SG-5 and Teal'c stepped through. The only thing was that they had with them three other figures. Jack blinked and rubbed his eyes. Unless he was imagining things SG-5 had brought back two Teal'c's, a Kawalsky and a Carter.


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N: Well not much to say yet, considering I JUST posted the first chapter!! But here's the next part (I'm on holidays, kinda bored at the moment)**

**CHAPTER TWO**

**~*~*~*~*~*~**

Sam walked into the infirmary and stopped in her tracks. Right in front of her was Major Kawalsky sitting on a bed, next to him was Teal'c…but it wasn't Teal'c. He didn't have a gold symbol on his forehead and he was flirting heavily with a nurse, very un-Teal'c-like. On the other bed opposite them sat…herself.

"Uh…" she couldn't think of anything to say.

The three of them turned to face her.

"That was my reaction," Jack said from behind her.

"We destroyed the mirror," Sam finally blurted out.

"Apparently there was another one," Jack replied.

Sam continued gawking at the three of them. 

"Hi," the other Sam said. "I'm Elaine."

"Elaine?" Sam repeated, looking extremely confused. "Wait let me get this straight…you're me, but you're called Elaine."

Elaine nodded. "This is the first reality we've encountered where you didn't have the same name as me."

"Same," Sam replied. "This is really strange."

"I'm Thomas," the other Teal'c replied. 

"Thomas?" Sam blinked. "OK now I'm lost…"

"Apparently I'm an alien here…" he said.

"Why are you here by the way?" Jack asked. 

Elaine shot a glance at Thomas. "Our world is being destroyed…"

"How?" Jack asked.

"That's the problem…we don't know," Kawalsky replied.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Jack asked.

"As in we have no idea what's happening to our planet, sir, but everyone's dying, they're getting sick and dying and we have no explanation for it," Elaine replied. 

Sam eyed the woman. They hadn't had their clothing changed since they'd arrived. The three of them where wearing SGC clothing, although they were slightly different to the ones worn in their own reality. Sam noted that Elaine and Kawalsky were both Majors and Thomas was a Colonel.

Just then Daniel decided to wander into the infirmary, obviously looking for something specific because he didn't even notice the crowd sitting around on the beds.

"Him," Kawalsky growled.

Daniel looked up. "Whoa! Where'd you come from?"

Sam looked at Elaine and Thomas, their eyes had also narrowed and their jaws were set tight. Something about Daniel…

"They're from an alternate reality, Daniel," Jack replied. "SG-5 brought them back…"

"He's the First Prime of Apophis, he tried to destroy our world…" Kawalsky grumbled.

"Me?" Daniel asked. 

"Yeah you…" Elaine said. "Sir, is he a friend here?"

Jack nodded. "Sure is…trust me Daniel wouldn't hurt a fly unless they were trying to hurt him."

Sam did notice Elaine continually called Jack 'sir', as if she knew him. She wondered if in their world they were engaged, or married or something…or if Elaine's world resembled hers rather than the other realities they had met.

There was a continued awkward silence as everyone in the room stared at Daniel. Janet interrupted it by walking into the middle of the group with some sort of medical equipment.

"That's enough, I want everyone out of here," she said. "Out!"

Everyone turned around and wandered out of the infirmary. Sam was completely confused, so she decided to head back to her lab to figure some stuff out.

~*~*~*~

Daniel wandered back into his office, confusion written all over his face. Lieutenant Shaw looked up and smiled at him.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Huh?" Daniel asked, suddenly realising there was another person in the room. "Oh…nothing…never mind. Where were we?"

"Uh, we were looking at Mayan cultures, trying to find a device which looks something like this one we found…unsuccessfully," Shaw replied. 

"Right…" Daniel said, picking up a book.

He didn't read it though, he was lost in his thoughts, wondering why whenever he ran into an Alternate Reality he was always dead…or this time evil. He wondered what had made him choose not to join the SGC…or SGA…or whatever this reality called their SGC. 

"Uh, Dr Jackson…" Shaw said.

Daniel looked up. "Yeah?"

"You're holding your book upside down…" she said.

"Oh…" Daniel flipped his book back up the right way and started flicking through, looking for a picture of the device. 

~*~*~

Sam looked at her clock. An hour had passed since the strange happenings in the infirmary. She stood up and rubbed her eyes only to find herself…Elaine…standing in the doorway of her lab.

"Whoa…how long have you been there?" Sam asked.

"I just got here…sorry if I scared you," Elaine said.

"No, its fine…" Sam said. "Uh…you wanna come in?"

"No thanks, I'm just looking around. Your SGH is exactly the same as ours from what I can see," Elaine said.

"SGH?" Sam repeated.

"Stargate Headquarters…" Elaine smiled. "Yours is called the SGC right?"

"Yeah, Stargate Command," Sam replied. "So Te…I mean Thomas, is he your CO?" 

"No, Colonel O'Neill's my CO, Thomas is head of SG-2," Elaine replied. "Kawalsky's his second-in-command. I was just on a mission with them because they needed an astrophysicist."

"You know you can't stay here too long because of…"

"…entropic cascade failure?" Elaine asked.

Sam nodded.

"We fixed that problem…" Elaine replied.

Sam looked up. "You did?"

"Well we didn't…you know how there are two mirrors? Well you only found the first one, the second one was modified – we don't know exactly what it does, but we do know it doesn't cause entropic cascade failure when you use the second mirror," Elaine said.

"That's not possible…" she replied.

"It is," Elaine said.

"So you're planning on staying here forever?"

Elaine shook her head. "No…we need to save our world. As the Colonel would say – two Carter's are better than one."

"So you are a Carter?" Sam asked.

Elaine nodded. "I guess we have some things in common…is your father a Tok'ra?"

Sam nodded. "This is really strange. Your reality is so far the closest to ours we've encountered. Except in our reality Kawalsky is dead…he was captured by a Goa'uld on our first mission to Chulak."

"And in your world Thomas was First Prime of Apophis rather than…Daniel was it?" Elaine asked.

Sam nodded again. "What's he called in your world?"

"Da'ark," Elaine whispered. "He tried to destroy our base…"

"I guess that would explain your reaction to seeing Daniel in our infirmary," Sam replied. "Uh I hate to say it, but speaking of Daniel I promise him I'd meet him in his office about five minutes ago so I gotta go."

"OK," Elaine said. "I'll go back to my quarters…and I'll see you around."

Sam watched her twin leave. It was even more disturbing than the other Sam who had come through the gate. This one had her haircut, her military clothing. It was extremely disconcerting. 

_At least she's not kissing the Colonel in front of you_, Sam thought to herself. She pushed that memory from her mind, it wasn't something she liked to remember. She grabbed some things and headed towards Daniel's office.

Just when you thought nothing else strange could happen, something like this occurs. 

**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**

**A/N: Please review!! Hope you're enjoying – I know there doesn't seem like much of a story at the moment – but it's coming I swear ****J****! **


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